The Big Question
by unicorn-skydancer08
Summary: Tumnus asks Lucy the biggest, most serious question he has ever asked her. But Lucy is doubtful of whether this is the right question to even answer.
1. Part 1

**THE BIG QUESTION**

_As it is undoubtedly obvious, I support the idea of a Tumnus/Lucy relationship. This is how I imagine it might have gone when Tumnus officially worked up the nerve to "pop the question" to Lucy. _

_I meant for this to be a one-shot at first, but the story's taking longer to write than I'd imagined, so I decided to save you people the long wait (and save myself the headache), and break it up into three separate parts. You could say this is somewhat of a sequel to my story "I Surrender". Read and review, s'il vous plaît!_

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Characters © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media**

**Story © unicorn-skydancer08**

_**All rights reserved. **_

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PART 1**

They always said that opposites attracted. Whoever had invented such a phrase in the first place, Tumnus could say he agreed with him—and wholeheartedly. He and Lucy Pevensie, also recognized as Queen Lucy the Valiant, one of the Four Monarchs who reigned over the realm of Narnia, were about as different as two individuals could possibly be. She was a human girl, commonly known as a Daughter of Eve in the world of Narnia; he was a faun, a creature of the forest that was a combination of man and wild goat, with a bit of stag mixed in.

From the waist up, he resembled a man—save for his ears, which were long and leaf-shaped, and for the two little horns that protruded from the crown of his head. Unlike a man, however, his legs bent in different directions, with different joints and muscles, and they were thick and bushy with an untamed mass of brown fur, streaked with blonde highlights. Rather than feet, Tumnus moved about on a pair on beautiful, glossy hooves that were cloven: split right down the middle, exactly like the hooves of a goat, or a deer.

Beyond that, Lucy was royalty, a person of high position and prestige. And Tumnus was nothing more than a humble commoner, who made his residence in a humble cave in the heart of the wilderness. Regardless of their differences (and not just the physical ones), they were the closest and the dearest of friends, never missing an opportunity to be with one another; and lately, Tumnus was beginning to see the Daughter of Eve with new eyes. Naturally, he was as warm and close-knit with her as he had ever been, since the day they first met at the old lamppost at Lantern Waste. But now, he was starting to see Lucy as the woman she truly was. He had always considered her beautiful, on the inside as well as the outside…but now, as an adult, she was truly gorgeous. Over the years that they had known each other, she seemed to have blossomed, like a flower emerging into full bloom.

To put it plainly, Tumnus found himself falling in love with her. _Love_, as in the pure, unreserved love that bound two individuals together, now and eternally; the love that ultimately led to a marriage, and, in time, a family. That was what Tumnus wanted, more than anything else in the world. He wanted Lucy entirely for his own.

He wanted her, and her alone, to have and to hold, as his beloved wife. He wanted to marry her, to lie with her, to love her, to grant her a child.

He wanted to stay with her for the rest of his life, and to die in her arms…or vice versa.

Never in all the faun's years of earthly existence had he longed, hoped, or prayed for anything more.

And so it was that one soft summer evening, during an exquisite dance party at Castle Cair Paravel, Tumnus intended to confront Lucy and ask her for her hand, right there and then. Not tomorrow, nor the next day, nor the day after that—but that very night. And if you thought Tumnus was nervous about doing this, you might as well have assumed that the Eastern Ocean was just a puddle, or that the mighty Northern Mountains were a mere string of pebbles.

He was absolutely petrified.

He was so afraid of her turning him down, of her laughing in his face. Beyond that, he feared to disgrace her in the midst of her company, to taint her reputation…to have her sink below her worth. As a queen of the realm, as a figure of nobility, Lucy deserved someone who shared the same noble status. She could have anyone she wanted, any gallant prince of some distant land, any knight in shining armor who would sweep her off her feet. He was just a simple faun. His kind were, as they put it, "a dime a dozen".

He knew that Lucy knew he cared deeply about her, that he would do anything for her, and that he would never hurt her or harm her in any way.

But would she be willing to accept his offering of marriage? What would she say? What would everyone else say? Tumnus was scared to find out.

Yet he knew he had to try. How was he ever to truly know for certain, unless he gave it an honest shot?

So, after he and Lucy had engaged in a slow and passionate dance together, and the music had reached a temporary recess and things were subdued for the time being, Tumnus asked Lucy if he could speak to her in private for a minute. To his delight, his hope, and his fear, Lucy readily agreed.

"Would it be all right if we took this outside?" he asked her. "In this way, we would have more peace and quiet, and no one else would find us out, or encroach upon us."

"Certainly, Tumnus," said Lucy obligingly. It was a warm night, after all, she figured. And she could most definitely use a break from the rather stifling world of royalty—a world of perfect manners and sophistication, of silks and satins, of endless discussions of this and that, and so on and so on.

Tumnus's heart was beating so loudly and so severely against his chest as he guided Lucy through the crowded room, toward one of the balconies that overlooked the sea, he was sure everyone could hear it. His legs were shaking so badly beneath him that he could barely walk.

Lucy could feel his hand perspiring considerably within hers, and her brows knit slightly with worry. Was Tumnus feeling all right?

He was acting a bit—_odd_, this evening.

Once they were outdoors, away from the crowds and the decorations and the overall festivities, Tumnus took a second or two to look Lucy over.

She looked nothing short of stunning, with her hair framing her face and spilling over her shoulders in silken waves of copper, with her delicate tiara of silver laurel leaves crowning her head, with her expensive gown of silver and gold and midnight blue embracing her feminine figure, and most especially with those bright brown eyes illuminating her lovely face. Ah, those eyes…perfectly almond-shaped, rimmed by long, perfect lashes, and always so warm and sweet and charming; they never failed to captivate Tumnus every time he gazed into them.

It had been her eyes that first attracted him to her in the very beginning, when she was but a small child.

At the same time, Lucy couldn't help noticing just how handsome Tumnus himself appeared, in the gentle white luminescence of the moon.

She had always thought of him as attractive, for a faun. But here, alone in the moonlight with him, with the stars and the sea enveloping them, she silently caught her breath at his comeliness, as if beholding him for the first time in her life. His wavy gold-brown hair trailed past his leaf-shaped ears and curled appealingly over his forehead, and the hair he sported on his face looked soft and inviting. Being a faun, his only article of clothing that night consisted of but a single scarf, but that scarf was the most lovely shade of green, and Lucy loved the way it draped casually over his bare shoulders. It made him look elegant yet stately at the same time, and it emphasized the honey streaks in his hair and goatee. And though it had been many years since that day at Lantern Waste, he was as youthful and strong and agile as ever before.

But it was his eyes that truly won Lucy over: bright china blue, and so warm and gentle, yet so intense and focused. Lucy had never seen such eyes.

They said the eyes were the windows to the soul, and that was indeed a most powerful truth.

Snapping herself out of her reverie, Lucy asked, "What did you wish to speak to me about, Tumnus?"

She spoke in a hushed voice, for although they were alone, and although they were outside, she hated to disrupt the lovely calm of the night by talking, at least very loudly.

Taking a deep breath, praying that he would have the strength to do this, Tumnus said, in the same hushed tone, "I have a gift for you, Lucy."

"But it's not even my birthday," she said, smiling somewhat lopsidedly at him. "Not for another three months, anyway. And Christmas isn't for another five months."

He smiled also at her rather poor attempt at humor. "I know," he said. "But this is a very special gift, and I didn't want to have to wait until your birthday, or until Christmas, to give it to you."

Tumnus's so-called "gift" turned out to be a stone. But this wasn't just any common stone. It was a moonstone: a beautiful milky white moonstone, about the size of Tumnus's palm, polished as smooth as glass. A soft blue shimmer moved across its face whenever it was moved in a certain way, mimicking the moon's glow, hence the name for the gem.

While moonstones were plentiful in the land of Narnia, fine gem-quality stones such as this one were quite rare. A moonstone was considered a lucky stone, and therefore held in very high esteem. It was also regarded as an ideal gift for lovers, as it allegedly aroused feelings of love and passion.

"Oh, it's beautiful!" Lucy breathed, as Tumnus presented the stone to her. "Where did you get this?"

"That, my dear Lucy, is a secret," Tumnus answered. As Lucy admired the stone, running her fingers ever so lightly over its flawless surface, the faun explained, "According to some recent research I have done, Lucy, when two people are in love, the male is to present the female with a special stone. From what I have read, the stone stands as a symbol of love, and fidelity."

He hesitated, drawing in a long, rattling breath, fighting to pull himself together; and, somehow, he managed to bring himself to say the words:

"And the male…presents the stone to the female…as an offering…an offering of marriage."

At the mention of the word "marriage", Lucy was so shocked that she nearly dropped the moonstone to the ground. Unsure of whether or not she'd heard Tumnus correctly, the young queen could only stare at the faun, and gasp disbelievingly, "_What?_"

Taking Lucy's hand in his own, Tumnus knelt at her feet, as one pleading for mercy, and gazed earnestly into her face.

"I love you, Lucy Pevensie," he declared solemnly. "I want to stay with you, for the rest of my life…and even beyond that."

"What…what are you saying, Tumnus?" Lucy practically spluttered.

"Marry me, Lucy." Tumnus hesitated but a brief moment before asking in a whisper, "Will you?"

For a full minute or so, Lucy was unable to speak, or move. Her entire body seemed to have frozen. Tumnus felt his heart sink at the dismay reflected in her face.

He knew he had caught her off-guard with his spontaneous proposal…yet, somehow, he had expected her reaction to be more positive than this. He had hoped she would be much more happy and thrilled about the whole affair. But from the way Lucy was looking at him, he might as well have asked her to throw herself off the balcony.

"Oh, Tumnus," Lucy stammered, when she had regained sufficient use of her tongue. "Tumnus, this is…this is…I…really, this is awfully sweet of you. No one has ever done this sort of thing for me before, and I do appreciate the gesture, indeed I do. But,"—Tumnus felt his heart plummet even further at the unpleasant three-letter word—"I don't know if I'm ready for this. And I'm not so sure about…about being wed to someone…well, someone like _you._"

As Tumnus slowly arose to his hooves again, knowing what he was hearing yet unable and unwilling to believe his ears, Lucy hastily attempted to reassure him.

"Don't get me wrong, Tumnus; you have always been there for me, and you're the nicest, most endearing friend anyone could ever ask for. And it's not like I don't _want _to be with you…but I…well, it's just that you are…and I am…we are both…everyone else would say…oh, how can I put this…"

Tumnus had heard enough. The message was clear, as plain as the broad daylight: Lucy was rejecting him. She didn't want him.

He had asked her to be his mate, his eternal companion, and her answer was no. He had given her his heart, and she was throwing it right back in his face.

It was as simple as that.

As Lucy babbled on, struggling desperately to string the right words together, Tumnus held a hand to her face for silence. "Say no more, Lucy," he said softly, his calm, quiet tone a stark contrast to the grief and the agony of his soul, to the burning humiliation that threatened to engulf him. "I understand you perfectly. And you are absolutely right. You are not some mere trophy, to be won. You deserve to be your own person, to be free and unbound. You should be at perfect liberty to make your own decisions, of your own will."

Bowing his head in submission, he continued, "I apologize for my misconduct, Lucy, and for my impulsive appeal. Forgive my insolence. I had only thought…somehow, I had harbored the hope that…oh, no matter. None of it matters, now. I shall go, and leave you in peace. And I shall never impose on you like that again. Forgive me, Lucy."

"Tumnus—" Lucy began, but he was already walking away from her, though his shoulders were stooped lower than usual, his head dipped toward his chest, and there was a definite falter in his step as he walked. Not once did Tumnus look back at her, and, within mere minutes, he was gone.


	2. Part 2

**THE BIG QUESTION**

_Presenting part 2! This is extremely short, yet extremely heart-wrenching. Get your Kleenexes ready! _

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Characters © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media**

**Story © unicorn-skydancer08**

_**All rights reserved. **_

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PART 2**

Somehow, in spite of his heartbreak and humiliation, Tumnus managed to keep his composure together as he wove his way through the crowded ballroom, and through the corridors of the castle itself…at least until he'd reached his own private quarters. No sooner had he entered the room and closed the door all the way than the tears started falling, like the rain, and the devastated faun plunged his face into his hands and let loose with the bitter sobs. Once they came, they came all right, and they refused to stop, or ease up.

But Tumnus didn't care in the slightest.

It was worse than he could have ever imagined…a thousand times worse. The one night that could have been the most joyful of all his life had become the most devastating.

Lucy's rejection of him wounded him and hurt him far more deeply than any physical injury ever could.

_You're a fool, Tumnus, _a silent, wicked voice in his mind mocked him. _Did you seriously think someone such as Lucy would have wanted someone such as you for a _husband?

Now that Tumnus truly thought of it, the very idea did seem most absurd, and it had been so from the beginning. He had only been deceiving himself. Lucy never viewed him as anything more than a friend…now, even the beautiful friendship they'd maintained for so many years was destroyed forever. Tumnus was more than sure of it.

After an episode like that, Lucy would almost certainly never want to see him again, or have anything to do with the likes of him, ever again.

Tumnus had crossed the line, gone over the limit.

Now, it was over. It was all over.

Even in the darkness of the room, even with his eyes closed and his hands pressed over his face, Tumnus could still see Lucy, and the look she gave him that night.

Were he to live to be a thousand, he knew he would never forget that look…nor would he ever forget the pain.

The pain and anguish that riddled the faun and had him driven to such a state of tears is beyond my power to adequately describe.

All I can truly say is that there is no pain to equal having something so wonderful, or something that appears wonderful, at any rate, within one's grasp, and yet so far away at the same time…and then to have your dreams and hopes flee altogether, along with what you'd already had in the first place, all in a single instant…and to know it is solely because of you.

Tumnus sank his face deeper into his palms, and sobbed harder. Without Lucy, how could he go on anymore? What value was there in life, if they couldn't be together?

How Tumnus longed to die, right then and there, and be out of his misery. Surely those who were dead did not suffer like this.

Presently, Tumnus took his hands away and opened his eyes, but only to light a single, solemn candle—not just for the sake of bringing a bit of light into the practically pitch-black room, but also as a reminder that he alone carried this humiliating burden. Tumnus used that candle to illuminate his way as he shakily crossed the room, to his personal library, which was adjoined with his bedroom. There, he could grieve in perfect solitude, and no one would even notice him.

Once inside the library, Tumnus set the candle down on his desk, then he allowed himself to sink freely into the chair. He leaned forward, over the edge of the gleaming mahogany surface, and, with his eyes closed once more and his arms folded together, dropped his forehead onto his arms, thus concealing his face completely.

_Lucy,_ was all his mind could register, as his broken sobs flooded out of him and pervaded the empty air, as he felt the hot moisture from his eyes on his bare skin. _Lucy…Lucy…Lucy…_


	3. Part 3

**THE BIG QUESTION**

_Presenting the third and final bit of this little Tumnus/Lucy romance! I promise, you people will love the ending. I sincerely apologize for taking so long with this. _

_But, you know, it would have taken me a great deal longer if I had tried to write this whole thing at once. Again, reviews are welcome; flames are not. _

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Characters © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media**

**Story © unicorn-skydancer08**

_**All rights reserved. **_

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PART 3**

"Lucy?" Lucy, who was sitting alone on a solitary bench in the dark, with the stone Tumnus had offered her nestled against her breast, slowly dared to look up, upon hearing the deep voice that addressed her. Her eldest brother, Peter, otherwise known as Sir Peter Wolfsbane, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion, Lord of the Northern Sky, or simply High King Peter the Magnificent, stood before her in the moonlight, looking puzzled and gravely concerned.

Lucy said nothing to him, only closed her eyes and turned her face away.

"What are you doing out here, when everyone else is celebrating inside?" Peter questioned, as he moved up to her and sat down beside her. Noticing the look of torment on her face, his brow furrowed. "Are you all right?" His intense blue eyes flashed with anger, and he thrust back his sleeves a little. "If anyone has hurt you, or mistreated you in any way, I swear I'll—"

That was when Lucy finally spoke.

"Oh, no, no, Peter," she hastily cut her brother off. "It is not something that someone else has done…but, rather, something that _I _have done," she added softly.

Peter looked at her in genuine surprise. "You, Lucy?"

Lucy bowed her head. "If anyone is to be blamed, it might as well be me," she said disconsolately.

Then Peter noticed the stone in his sister's possession. "What is that, Lu? Where did you get it?"

"Tumnus gave it to me," Lucy answered, speaking so quietly that Peter almost didn't hear her.

"Well…that was certainly generous of him," Peter had to admit, noting the stone's remarkable quality. "A stone as fine as that is not easily found around here."

Lucy gazed down unhappily at the stone, her fingertips brushing absentmindedly over its cool, seashell-smooth surface, for what must have been the hundredth time within the past hour. A part of her wanted to hurl the thing away from her, right over the balcony and into the sea below. But, somehow, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

It was a very beautiful stone, indeed it was. And Tumnus surely must have gone to great lengths to obtain it for her.

That was the problem.

Peter could sense what she was thinking. "And, is there something wrong with it?" he queried. "Why would Tumnus even do this for you? He must have had some special reason, I'll bet."

"Yes," said Lucy at length, "yes, he did."

"And…?" Peter trailed off, waiting on her to elaborate.

Slowly, hesitantly, faltering more than once, Lucy explained to her brother what had happened that night: how Tumnus presented the stone to her as what he called an "offering", and how he asked her on the spot to marry him. If Peter was surprised before, he was completely knocked for six upon hearing of Tumnus's proposal.

_Marriage?_ Was Tumnus serious?

Gazing at the exquisite white stone one more time, thinking about how thoroughly and carefully Tumnus had to have planned this whole stratagem, Peter realized the faun must have been dead serious. "Well," he managed to say, after Lucy had finished, "that's wonderful! I'll admit, this comes as somewhat of a bolt from the blue…but, why not? If anyone ought to have you, why not Tumnus? He may not be wealthy, or exactly be considered the cream of the crop. But he certainly has a great deal more charisma and integrity than those royal pigheaded buffoons we have been forced to associate with lately. At any rate, I know I can always trust the faun, and rely upon him."

He paused a second before adding, "Where is Tumnus, anyhow? What did you tell him?"

Finally, Lucy couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She bent her head, so that her hair came spilling down, hiding her on all sides. "Why, Lucy!" said Peter, now dismayed to see and hear his baby sister crying like this. "Whatever is the matter?" He slid closer to her and pulled her against him, wrapping her in his strong arms.

Yet even as he did so, Lucy did not stop. She only turned and huddled forlornly against his chest, her tears staining the front of his expensive robes.

But Peter didn't care, only held her to his heart, stroking her and smoothing her hair back from her face.

"Hey, hey…hey," he crooned softly into her ear, and Lucy was reminded of the time she had once spoken those very words to Tumnus, years back at Lantern Waste.

The two sat like that for a few minutes, until Peter lifted Lucy's chin, so that she was looking him properly in the eye. "What's wrong, Lu?" he asked solicitously. "Does this have anything to do with Tumnus, with him asking for your hand? Is there anything wrong with that? Personally, I believe you ought to be terribly glad about this…rather than the other way around."

"That's just it, Peter!" Lucy burst out, her voice cracking like a piece of delicate glass. "I _love _Tumnus! I love him more than I would believe possible! I love him with everything that is in me!"

"Then what's the problem?" Peter persisted.

"It would never work!" she wailed. "I mean,_ look _at us! He is—and I am—oh, we're just too _different!_ What do I have to offer him, Peter? He deserves better! He belongs with other fauns, and I belong with people, and—" She stumbled over her tongue for a time, before falling silent, unable to express how she was feeling, at a loss of how she could make Peter understand.

But Peter seemed to understand perfectly.

Taking both of Lucy's hands in his large, rough ones, he bored his intent blue eyes into her watery brown ones, and told her very seriously, "But you love him. What else matters?"

Lucy stared at him, blinking in disbelief as the tears continued to slide down her skin, glistening like diamonds in the light of the stars.

"Listen to your heart, Lu," Peter continued. "_Follow_ your heart. Do not let a perfectly good thing go to waste. Don't let anyone or anything stand between you and Tumnus…and that includes yourself, your pride, and your fears. If you truly love Tumnus, you must fight for him. Love him for who he is, not for what you want him to be." He leaned in a little closer. "And if it will make things any easier for you," he whispered, "I grant you, here and now, not only my permission to marry Tumnus, but also my blessing."

"Y-you mean it, Peter?"

"Yes, Lucy, I mean it…and with all my heart." He brushed his thumb across her moist cheek. "You are my sister, and my only true wish is for you to be happy, regardless of what you choose."

Lucy bowed her head once more, recalling with sharp, painful guilt how she had hurt Tumnus, seeing the way the faun had walked away from her when she turned him down. What must he think of her? "Oh, Tumnus," she said, with a deep groan. "Oh, Peter…Tumnus must surely be angry with me for turning him down! He probably even hates me!"

Peter lifted a shrewd eyebrow to his sister. "You're certain of that?"

"How could he think otherwise?"

"Try him, and see," Peter insisted. "Go after him, and talk to him. Find out for yourself."

"He won't listen to me, Peter, I just know it! After the way I treated him tonight, he surely won't want to speak to me, let alone come within so much as a mile of me."

"Try, Lucy," said Peter firmly. "The very least you can do is try." His tone and countenance softened considerably. "If I know Tumnus as well as you do, he'll at least grant you the respect of listening to what you have to say, and not throwing you out. You are queen over him, after all."

Blinking back her tears, Lucy protested, "But…but, even if that were true, Peter, even if Tumnus _was_ willing enough to hear me out, what would I say to him? Where would I even start?"

"Well," said Peter thoughtfully, "you might begin by asking him to forgive you, for giving him the wrong impression. Offer a sincere apology for hurting him, in any way. Explain everything to him, tell him what you truly feel for him, and then be willing to accept whatever follows."

Lucy pondered her brother's words for a time, and knew them within her heart to be true.

Yes…yes, it was indeed worth a try. However Tumnus responded to her, however it turned out, it couldn't be much worse than this.

One way or another, Lucy couldn't stay out here, and mope all night.

She looked at Peter one last time, and he smiled very warmly at her and nodded. "Go on," he whispered encouragingly. Lucy smiled back, and leaned over to hug him. She tried to put a lot of unspoken things into that one hug; Peter must have understood them, for he readily returned her embrace, and she felt his lips kiss her sweetly on the temple. When they released each other, Lucy planted a quick kiss of her own on Peter's cheek, before arising from the bench, taking her precious moonstone with her, and rushing into the castle to seek Tumnus out.

* * *

"Tumnus?" Lucy called out gently, tapping tentatively on the door to the faun's chambers. "Tumnus, are you in there?"

There was no answer. But Lucy was sure he must be in there. Where else could he have gone?

She tried to open the door, and was surprised to discover that it wasn't locked. It opened quite easily. Lucy carefully inched the door open and peeked around the edge, finding the vast room on the other side to be dark and deserted. There was no fire in the fireplace, no kettle put on for tea, and the bed was empty—the sheets smooth and unwrinkled, the pillows neatly stacked together. However, Lucy could spot just the faintest glow on one of the farthermost walls, and she could hear what sounded like sobbing.

It seemed to be coming from Tumnus's personal library.

Hating to be intrusive, yet unable to bear being away from Tumnus one more minute, Lucy slipped as quietly as a mouse into the chamber, closing the door gently behind her.

With her stone still clutched in her hand, she crept across the room towards the library.

As she drew near, she could tell it was definitely sobbing that she was hearing, and it sounded very much like Tumnus. When she reached the door, which had been left open a crack, she peered inside to discover none other than Tumnus himself slumped at his desk, with his back facing her. The dying candle on the table barely illuminated the faun's forlorn form.

His head was down at that time, so she couldn't see his face, but his shoulders were heaving and convulsing with the sharp, ragged sobs that infiltrated the air.

When Lucy slipped into the room and moved around to the faun's side a bit, she saw that he had his face hidden in his arms. His honey-brown curls mingled with the hair that lined his forearms, making his locks appear longer than they really were. Not once did Tumnus stir from the spot, and not once did he look up.

Had he been sitting there crying, this whole time?

If that was the case, he must have cried for well over an hour, maybe two hours.

Lucy had never seen or heard anyone so upset; the sight and the sound of his weeping invaded her heart like barbaric knives. To see her poor faun reduced to such a state, and to know it was all because of her, filled her with unspeakable guilt. Reaching out a hand to him and touching him mildly on his fur-lined back, she said in a soft voice, "Tumnus?"

At long last, Tumnus lifted his head, revealing his face for the first time.

His face was blotchy, and thoroughly soaked with tears. Though the lighting in the room was poor, Lucy could see that his eyes were quite red.

He gave quite a start upon recognition of her, and he shrank back somewhat from her in his chair. But sorrow and remorse overtook his shock only a minute later, and his shoulders drooped.

"Oh, Lucy," he whispered, in a voice thick and heavy with emotion, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I am such a terrible faun."

This was somewhat of a repeat of that fateful night years ago, when Lucy met Tumnus for the first time…only they were in a different place this time, and the circumstances varied slightly as well. "Oh, no, Tumnus," said Lucy contritely, drawing up a chair of her own and sitting down next to him. "_I'm_ the one who should be sorry. _I'm _the one who is so terrible."

"No, this is _my_ fault." Tumnus buried his face in his hands. "I don't know what I was thinking back there," he moaned, without looking up. "What I've done was foolish, horribly selfish, and completely unforgivable. Now…now everything is ruined…and it's all my fault." He sank his head deeper into his hands, drawing in a ragged breath. "Oh, Lucy, I'm sorry…I'm _sorry!_ I'll understand perfectly if you can never forgive me, or if you want nothing to do with me from here on. Go ahead, throw me out; banish me from Cair Paravel forever. It's nothing I don't deserve."

Lucy felt tears begin to trickle down her own cheeks, and she felt her heart break for him.

Slowly, she set her moonstone on the table next to the candlestick, before reaching out for Tumnus and gently pulling his hands away so that she could look at his face properly. Tumnus made no resistance to this, but he kept his eyes closed, and the tears only continued to pour forth, all the more consistently. Lucy now used her hands to cradle his chin, feeling the warmth of his skin and the soft coarseness of the hair that lined his jaw. She wiped his tears with her thumbs, in a vain attempt to clear them away.

"I wouldn't dream of such a thing, Tumnus," she whispered to him, in response to his suggestion of banishment. "There would be no reason for me to stay here, without you."

Tumnus opened his eyes at that, and there was just the slightest, subtlest trace of hope in their watery depths, amidst the grief and pain.

He said nothing—not that Lucy gave him the opportunity to speak, for she resolutely pressed on.

"I love you, Tumnus," she said stanchly. "I love you with all my heart, all my strength, and all my soul. And, Aslan forbid, I want you more than any other woman has ever wanted a man."

"How can you, Lucy?" Tumnus couldn't refrain from asking, his voice cracking as he uttered the words. "After all that I've done, considering who I am, how can you love me?"

Lucy brought her face closer to his, until their foreheads touched. "Because I know you, Tumnus," she whispered fervently. "Because I have seen your heart…and all the love and the goodness that is in it. No man whom I have met before in my life has ever made me feel the way you make me feel."

"Do you…do you…" Tumnus swallowed, then somehow managed to get the words he meant to say out of his mouth. "Do you forgive me, Lucy? For—for everything that came about tonight, w-will you forgive me?"

"Of course, I forgive you, my dear, sweet Tumnus," Lucy assured him, her fingers twining in his honey curls. "But there is nothing to forgive you for. Rather, _I _am the one who ought to ask _your_ forgiveness, for giving you the wrong impression, for inadvertently turning you away when you asked for my hand. The truth is, Tumnus, I really did want to say yes…but I was afraid. I let my foolish pride get in the way. And it nearly destroyed everything, for both you and I." She now withdrew her hands, and rested her head in the warm crook of Tumnus's neck.

"I'm sorry, Tumnus. Can you ever forgive me?" she pleaded earnestly.

Tumnus hesitated only a moment before wrapping Lucy in his tender arms, and cradling her against his breast, lulling her as though she were a child again.

With his mouth a mere centimeter from her ear, he whispered, "It's all right. I forgive you." And when such words passed from his lips, he felt the terrible agony that threatened to destroy him only an hour ago begin to melt away. The faun felt his slowly but surely healing heart fill with a sweet warmth, unlike anything he'd felt before.

They remained like that for a time, until Lucy pulled away.

"Now that that's settled," she said in a very decisive tone, a mischievous glint in her eye, "isn't there something you ought to ask me, Tumnus?" She nudged the moonstone in Tumnus's direction to emphasize the point, and Tumnus was surprised yet overjoyed to see that she had kept the thing all this time, that she hadn't gotten rid of it.

Knowing exactly what she wanted him to say, what he needed to say, the faun willingly took the young queen by the hand and eased off the chair, getting down to his knees in front of her.

"Lucy Pevensie," he said solemnly, his gaze entangled with hers, "will you marry me? Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife, my one true companion, for now…and for always?"

Lucy beamed at her beloved faun, even as her lovely brown eyes shone diamond-bright with tears, and this time she didn't hesitate to grant him her answer: "Yes."

That was all she said, but that was all that was necessary.

She eased herself to the floor and slipped her arms around Tumnus's neck, sealing her vow to him with an everlasting kiss.

Tumnus returned the kiss with every ounce of his heart, and his tears mingled with hers as they flowed unrestrainedly.

As they kissed, and kissed again, tasting the saltiness of one another's tears, Tumnus was convinced he would burst from the sheer joy and happiness that flooded his being. To think that this started to be the worst night of all his life, but now—now it was just the opposite. This was a night he would truly cherish, for as long as he lived.

Knowing that he and Lucy were engaged now, soon to be husband and wife, was like a dream.

It began as a nightmare…and blossomed into a perfectly glorious dream come true.


End file.
